Talk to Your Doctor About Embarrassing Cancer Symptoms

Cancer symptoms can be embarrassing. No one likes talking about blood in their stool, vaginal discharge or erectile dysfunction. But when it comes to your health, it’s critical to overcome your hesitation and be honest with your doctor and care team.

What you see as an embarrassing personal matter could tell your doctor something about the progress of your disease or suggest a new course of treatment. If you are struggling with things like sexual dysfunction, your doctor may be able to offer solutions to improve your quality of life and sense of identity.

Keep in mind that there’s nothing you are experiencing that your doctor hasn’t dealt with before. And there’s no benefit to struggling in silence.

Why the Silence?

You might be hesitant to mention a new or changing symptom because you fear it will lead to bad news or a worsening diagnosis.

There are also cultural influences. Older patients, for example, are often more reluctant to discuss what they see as private issues with their doctors. While younger people may have less difficulty talking about cancer, their grandparents are from an era when cancer (known as the “C word”) was discussed in hushed voices.

Embarrassment also threatens to keep people from seeking help in time to catch some cancers early, in a more treatable phase.

A 2019 British survey found that a fifth of UK adults chose not to tell their doctors about potential cancer symptoms because of their embarrassment.

Sensitive Subjects

When a cancer symptom is causing you significant daily pain, it’s easier to go to your doctor for help. But there’s less motivation when the symptom doesn’t hurt or is hidden from everyone else’s view. It’s also tempting to disregard something like blood in the stool and blame it on hemorrhoids.

Among the other symptoms that people may be hesitant to reveal:

• Rashes
• Pain during sexual intercourse
• Erectile dysfunction
• Rectal bleeding
• Blood in the urine
• Constipation or diarrhea
• Nipple discharge
• Difficulty urinating
• Breast lumps
• A lump on the penis

Coping Strategies

When dealing with uncomfortable symptoms, remember that you aren’t the first person to experience this. And you won’t be the first person to tell your doctor about it. There’s nothing you can say that is going to shock your care team.

When you are looking for someone to tell, it doesn’t even need to be your doctor. It’s not unusual for people to be reluctant to bring up something they see as “wasting” the doctor’s time. Rest assured that your doctor does want to know what’s happening to with you.

But you may feel more comfortable first raising some of these issues with a nurse or medical assistant with whom you’ve developed a connection. Ask if they’ve had other patients with your issue and if it’s worth mentioning to the doctor. A key element of this is making sure you have a care team that makes you feel comfortable and safe. It may help to have a game plan ahead of time:

• Make some notes (on paper or on your phone) about what you want to discuss with your doctor. This will help you stay focused if you become flustered or embarrassed.
• Stay focused on the main reason for your conversation. Talk about when your symptoms started and whether they are getting worse.
• Be honest with any questions your doctor might have. It’s difficult for your doctor or team to help you if they don’t have all of the information they need.
• Don’t be afraid to look for a different doctor if your current doctor isn’t addressing your concerns or doesn’t take the time to answer your questions.

It may also help to tell yourself that your experience can have a positive impact on people who come after you. Your sharing will help your care team develop a better understanding of how your particular treatment plan is affecting your cancer journey. When you open up, it gives your team a chance to help you and also be better prepared to help others later.