When Is the Right Time To Have a Baby?

There’s no formula for calculating the best time to start your journey to motherhood. And it’s nearly impossible to know when to change your entire lifestyle, even if the payoff is a beautiful bundle of joy.

So if you’re longing for a baby now or think you might want to have one someday, deciding when can cause angst. That proverbial time clock typically keeps ticking until your early 40s.

Here are guidelines for what to consider if you’re unsure.

Start Out Healthy

While pregnancy of a wanted baby reaps the best reward ever, it does put your body through a whole lot of work for nine months. So, start the process in peak condition.

• Get a wellness check-up. Schedule a well-woman exam with your general practitioner or OB-GYN before you stop using birth control. It’s best to be in peak physical condition before you start.
• Address any medical challenges. Maybe you’ve been taking medication to control high blood pressure or managing a thyroid issue. Talk to your doctor to make sure your medications are pregnancy-friendly. ACE inhibitors, a common treatment for high blood pressure, could negatively impact your future baby, so your doctor might suggest another medication.
• Look into irregular periods. If you menstruate after six weeks, then two, or are spotting, then bleeding heavily, let an expert look into the cause. Irregular periods can indicate a health issue that’s best treated beforehand.

Although plenty of women have healthy babies after age 40, you should begin earlier, if possible. That gives you time to try naturally and, if your family-planning journey leads to in vitro-fertilization, using your own eggs for that.

Be Practical

Though visions of swaddling and bedtime cuddles are part of the appeal, motherhood involves a whole lot more. Taking care of a child takes a tremendous amount of time, sleep deprivation, ­­ and of course, money.

• Maternity leave. Can you get time off from work after you give birth? Even if you have a vaginal delivery, you will need time at home to recover and to get into a routine with the baby. Two weeks is the bare minimum, and three months is better.
• The budget. Even if insurance covers your sonograms, vitamins and delivery costs, a baby will cost you money. Pediatrician visits, vaccines, diapers, a car seat, stroller, baby clothes, maternity outfits for you … and that’s before the baby becomes a student who needs notebooks and wants the cutest backpack. Estimates vary widely, but one study shows that it costs a middle class American family more than $300,000 to raise a child through high school.
• Support. Whether a job, a dentist, an emergency or a lunch out with friends, you’ll need or want time away at least occasionally. It’s best to have reliable help. That might be a spouse, parent, sibling or friend. It could be a paid nanny, au pair or babysitter, if you have the budget.
• Career. Plenty of women brilliantly mix work and motherhood. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. Be realistic in advance: You’ll have to choose between a coveted shift at the workplace or attending a parent-teacher conference, meeting a deadline with your boss or staying home when your child spikes a fever.

Check Your Emotions

A baby will open your heart in ways you can’t even imagine. Still, it’s best to think through if, and why, you want one before stocking up on pregnancy tests.

You should have a child for the right reasons. It’s best if women do not enter motherhood to keep a partner, or to have someone to love them unconditionally, for starters. Work on self-love first; if you don’t love yourself, how are you going to love your baby?

Make sure you really want a baby. It’s common for women to reach a point in life where they’re in a healthy relationship, have a decent job, have a safe home, socialize with friends who are parents, and are of an age where motherhood makes sense. That’s not enough. Look hard at outside pressures. Ask why you feel hesitant to have a baby. Whoever is pressuring you is not going to be the one taking care of the child, and making sacrifices to other parts of their life.

If you’re not sure, that might mean you’re not ready. Sometimes indecision is a decision.

When you feel the time is right, your doctor gives you the go-ahead and you have the support system and budget in place, go for it. Best wishes for an easy pregnancy and a bouncing baby girl or boy.