9 Ways Your Partner Can Help with Labor

When you’re thinking about your birth plan, you probably know you want your partner’s support, even if you’re not sure what that looks like. But don’t wait until the moment arrives. It’s smart to start preparing ahead of time.

There are a variety of ways your partner can support you during labor and delivery.

Take a Joint Childbirth Class

The more your partner understands the labor process, the better they can support you.  It’s important to learn what happens during childbirth before labor is underway. The hospital staff is primarily focusing on the mother in labor and can’t spare too much time to answer a bevy of questions from the non-birthing parent. To better prepare, consider a birth preparation class, offered by most hospitals in person or online. These sessions cover the three stages of childbirth, and what to expect with each stage.

Help Communicate the Birth Plan

It’s a huge help if both of you fully understand the birth plan, including which pain management options you want. There will be many times when your partner can act as an advocate for you, helping communicate details, such as whether you strongly prefer natural childbirth over a C-section, as well as which pain management options you prefer. Keep in mind, however, that circumstances may change, and birth plans may need to be adapted, depending on what arises during labor.

Avoid Distraction

Labor can be a long process, and you should plan for the long haul. You should make clear your expectations, such as not wanting your partner to play video games or watch sports on TV. The more your partner can anticipate your needs, the better. For example, learning how to help you manage pain, perhaps by giving you a massage that targets pressure points.

Understand How You Handle Pain

No two people handle pain the same way. Some people get intensely quiet, for example. If your partner recognizes how you deal with pain, they can better help hospital staff identify your needs.  

Offer Encouragement

By continually offering verbal support, your partner can help you stay as calm and centered as possible. Tips for your partner:

• Acknowledge your pain or emotions.
• Don’t simply say “breathe” repeatedly.
• Remember that labor is a process.
• Understand that childbirth is difficult.
• Remind you that you are doing a great job.

Patience Required

It’s not helpful for your partner to ask how long the process will take. It’s important to accept that there is no schedule, and it takes as long as it takes. Childbirth can sometimes take upward of 24 hours for a first-time mom, and it can deviate from the expected.

Take Pictures Discreetly

If your partner can take photos quietly and in a discreet way, it’s lovely to have a few tasteful photos to capture these moments.

Update Family and Friends

Task your partner with overseeing texting and calling family and friends, so that is one less thing you need to worry about. Talk ahead of time about who should be updated and ensure that your partner has the right phone numbers. Perhaps set up a group text ahead of the big day.

Don’t Forget Creature Comforts

Nurses manage much of the birth plan, such as ice chips. Your partner can offer help by knowing where everything is in the bags brought from home. Ideally, both partners pack the hospital bags together.

The goal throughout the whole process is simply to help keep you as comfortable as possible. Remember, too, that this may not go perfectly according to plan, and that’s OK.